Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Top 4 Most-Hated Weight Loss ads:

4. Weight Loss International. That new diet company has the ad where the woman goes "Any diet where I can eat chocolate is the one for me!". I have nothing really again their diet, as I'm pretty sure it's just a Jenny Craig rip-off. I just want to punch the ad's host in the face. She can't act and it seems like she's trying to convince you to, covered in salt, come to a party with a bunch of cannibals ("They're completely off that, I promise!" ) rather than try this new diet. Her and the Ditech guy need to run off together and never darken my TV again.

3. Related: The Jenny Craig weight loss "system". I guess I don't have anything violently against Jenny Craig, I'm sure it's worked for *some*one. But, you'd have to shove that stuff down my gullet to get me to eat prepackaged food every damn day. I can't even imagine. "Sorry, hon, I'm going to have to skip on the home cooked meal tonight, I've got this salt-ass pasta to eat. Can you clean out the microwave for me?"

2. The "T.G.I. Friday's New *Atkins Approved* Menu" - Let me start of by saying that I don't like T.G.I. Fridays or any of those related big-box restaurants with all that pseudo-retro crap hanging all about the walls. Personally, if I wanted to eat dinner like that, I'd hang out in my grandma's basement. At least then I wouldn't have to consume the overly-heavy stuff that passes for good food there. I also really dislike this new Atkins fad. But, all of that aside, can someone explain to me how a big chunk o' steak smothered in Bleu Cheese is anything resembling diet-like? 'Cause it's low in Carbs? Well, maybe, yeah, but you know what makes that lovely steak sizzle? Fat. And what is that on top? Fat (and I'm sure we're not talking some high-grade cheese either). Can I get a side of deep-fried lard with that? Fat fat fat..but low carbs!
Those new "low-carb" beers need to go as well.

And Number One....
1. That diet pill that says "It's not your fault that you're overweight". I can't remember the name of it, but this is the worst diet ad I've ever seen. Let's break it down. Dr. whatshisname (Dr. of Marketing most likely) comes on the screen and issues a warning: "I'm sorry, if you're a casual dieter, just looking to loose 5 to 10 pounds, this pill is *way* too strong for you." There's a stunningly "subtle" use or reverse marketing there. No, don't buy our product, it's *too* strong. Though, hey, I'm sure it'll get them out of a lawsuit when someone's heart explodes from taking their product. Then they proceed to tell you that it's not your fault your overweight. "It's stress that causes you to gain weight." Oh lord, why didn't I think of it before! It's not the three quarter-pounders I shovel down everyday or the fact that getting up to find the remote is the most exercise I get in a day. It's my stress level! Wow. And all this time I thought it's cause I was a fat-lazy ass. (Now, I honestly don't think everyone who is overweight is lazy. Personally, I think if you eat right and have a few extra pounds, it's no big deal and you're waaaay healthier than those who are on the T.G.I. Friday's Atkins Diet.
But to say that, no, diet and exercise have nothing to do with it, that's it's stress and you can take this pill and make it all better? That's what gets to me.)

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