Thursday, March 18, 2004

blog.. blog.. blog.. blog..

First, I'm posting a reminder to Genevieve and myself that we forgot to stop by Rozi's this past week and pick up that Cain Musque wine. I know it's kind of selfish to waste blog space on the equivalent of a post-it note, but it is my blog ;)

For my real post, I think I've touched upon his subject somewhat before, but, in order to make it official: My Top 5 Most Vile Food Stuffs. Things you'd see me start gnawing at my own arm before I ate:

5. Any dried, fried, tied meat "products". Yes, I'm talking pork rinds. I'm talking beef jerky. I'm talking spam and it's associates. Anything that involves the phrase "meat product". Now, let it be known I've had beef jerky before. But that was a different time, a different place. And I thought it tasted like salty ass even then.

4. Hing (asafoetida). It's not a food, but a spice and, honestly, I have used it and, therefore, eaten it. But, those who have ever *smelled* hing knows why it has to be on a list of vile things.

3. This is just a name thing: Pizone. It's a CALzone. Not a "PIzone". I mean, I'd really like to think your average consumer does not think a calzone is going to be too weird or "ethnic" for them. So why fuck with the name? Maybe they are different though. Has anyone out there had one who could let me know?

2. Donato's Adkins Diet Pizza - My mind is still reeling about how a bunch of cheese and tomato sauce thrown into a bowl (sans crust) can be called a pizza. Okay, I can't let that subject go. Pizza is generally two things: a crust + some sort of fat topping (cheese, usually) + (optional) whatever additional toppings. I mean, if we can call simply cheese + tomato sauce a pizza, what would low-carb pasta or lasagna be? Couldn't they be the same thing? Either way, it looks like regurgitated pizza and it lacks the basic principles to even be called such.

1. Hot Pockets - Every time an ad comes on for Hot Pockets, I get queasy. Bits of meat "stuff" smothered in sub-cheese and encased in an easily microwavable crust. I know it's supposed to be ultimate convenience food (easy & quick to cook, requires no plates or utensils to each). But, well, regardless of how easy it is, it looks like vomit in a snack pie crust! The varieties where they try to go beyond the old Ham & Cheese (don't even get me started on Breakfast Hot Pockets) are even more vile.

Anything to contribute? I'm sure I left some things off. What food would you not eat even if it meant life or death?