Friday, August 20, 2004

I had a scary experience the other day.

Well, let me preface this a bit. I don't have a good memory. If you are reading this, you probably knew that already. Most likely, I've forgotten: an event, a birthday or the populace of Indonesia and you've had to remind me. Whether this be caused by stress or some fudge-up in my brain chemistry, I accept it and have, pretty much, come to grips with it. I try to keep things in this little noggin, but sometimes things slip out and..providing it's not Genevieve's birthday, I'm usually not going to beat myself up over it.

Anyways, you know how, occasionally, a memory you thought you'd forgotten will pop into your head? It's usual something trivial, like the time you ate dog food when you were a little kid. So, I had that happen the other day. I remembered my first kiss, at the YMCA pool I used to go to all the time as a kid.

The only problem is....

It never happened.

My first kiss was with a brace-faced girl named Stacy in middle school.

But, still, I can remember it. I can remember everything about it as if I were there. My logical brain says "no, of course that didn't happen". But the part of my brain which defines things on an non-logical or "feeling" level, well, to it, that event is just as real as any others stored up there. It's a silly thing, because I can look at it and know that it's not real, but for a second..when I first thought was. It makes me think like I can't trust my own head. It's all very unsettling.