Monday, February 28, 2005

Minor Restaurant Going Tip:

If you know the owner of a restaurant and you arrive at his or her place and they are not there: *do not* call the owner and play the "guess where I am" game, *do not* mention, multiple times, that you know the owner to staff members (cause, well, no shit. We *work* there, we know the freggin owner too, dumbass) and *do not* assume you are best buddies, either. If you really were best buds, you would already *know* that the owner 9.9 times out of 10 does not work at the restaurant in the evenings and you wouldn't be wondering where he or she was when you walked in. Lastly, when you ask who is cooking that night and *the cook* (who also happens to not be the owner) answers that he is, *do not* answer "No! [owner's name] is the cook! [owner's name] is the cook!" Oh yes, and do not do all the above with your grossly bronzed and flabby gut hanging out your too-small midriff shirt.